We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve

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Letting go of the past of who I once was (and no longer playing the victim role) has drastically changed me, changed my perspective yet I am still me. I now just choose to no longer accept other people’s beliefs … Continue reading

Youth, Truth & Guns

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The other day, my 5-year-old son randomly said to me: “Guns kill people.” As I was caught by surprise, I turned to him, looked him in the eyes and said: “Brian, guns do not kill people. People kill people. There … Continue reading

First Day of Kindergarten: How This Mommy Is Surviving

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Last night marked the end to another closed chapter in my life–today is my new beginning. If you ask how I am feeling… well, I am feeling excited, scared, happy, frightened, anxious, joyful, nervous… I am feeling all sorts of … Continue reading

Happy 65th Birthday Mother.

Today is my mother’s birthday. She would have been 65 years young. Although she is not physically here to celebrate–I deeply believe I keep her essence alive deep in the love of my heart–where she still remains. Therefore, here is to my mother, my angel who flies high above and continues to play the unconditional loving role of watching over me (and my family), guiding and protecting me, keeping me safe. For my dear mother, you will always BE…FOREVER YOUNG.

Keeping my mother’s spirit alive….

Happy Birthday Mom.

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10 Ways On How To Care For a Child/Toddler Who Has a Fever (this does not apply to infants)

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“If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings.” –Brian Tracy Here … Continue reading

Techniques for Parents to Cope Effectively with Young Children going to School for the First Time…

“It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.” ~Joyce Maynard

Being a first time parent comes with many surprises. I have been a stay-at-home mother for the past three years. Now that my “baby” is no longer a baby and is going to leave me for the first time to start preschool is a bit overwhelming for me. However, there are many strategies to use to get by the stress that comes along with parenting and the transitions and preparing for what’s best for your child because that is, of course, the main focus. My three-year-youngin’ starts preschool in two days and I know I have to remain strong. I am very proud of my boy and the young little man he is growing into and I also think how proud of myself I am for taking such wonderful care of him. When I look back, we did a lot of playing trains, blocks, story time, flashcards, cars, cranes and trucks, board games such as candy land and scramble, hanging out, took many walks, dancing, and of course the discipline that goes along with young children and so fourth… I taught him a lot and now it is time for him to learn from others. It’s hard and I know I will pull through. There is no parenting book or guide to warn parents that it is a challenge when transitions happen. …And sending my boy to school for the first time sure is a challenge in itself for me. I just wonder how I will be when he has to leave for college or moves out of the house for the first time; well, I will wait (very) patiently and enjoy every second that I do have with him until that day comes. Right now, my focus is preschool. ((Smiles)). As a parent, I believe we have special key roles to play in a child’s life. For one, I know I have taught my son love from day one. Love is very important and to me love is being there, caring, helping in time of need, playing, laughter and having fun together… love to me is also teaching children to have decent morals, values and integrity. It is never too late to teach love, give love and receive love. For my son has taught me the true meaning of love. I am ready to watch my boy grow and develop; to watch him transition into the man he becomes. …And I will walk along side him every step of the way; for I am his mother. But in order to take these steps with him, I have to be fully prepared. So below I have listed some strategies to help parents cope with their children growing, changing, and developing into their own person when knowing that your child will enter the world on his own for the first time.


Techniques on how to help Parents Cope with Transitions with their Young Children:

  •  Always have a positive mind-set. Hence, always know that everything will be alright.
  • If your in need of crying, let it all out. A good cry can be healthy for you. However, try not to cry in front of the child, you do not want to make the child feel bad, you want them to know it is ok for them to leave and do what they have to so they can experience life. 
  • Reach out to other parents who are in the same boat as you such as friends, other parents in your child’s school, online, and so on…
  • Keep yourself busy. Find a favorite hobby such as exercise, volunteer, read, paint, knit, take a walk, meditate, creative projects or do whatever it is that you enjoy doing. Any free time you have, try and make it self-fulfilling, we all deserve it!
  • Be strong! Keep in mind that the more obstacles you overcome and pull through, the stronger of a person you will be!

“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around – and why his parents will always wave back.” ~William D. Tammeus

Furthermore, this link also correlates to my Guided Tips section:

http://createwhatyouwant.org/parenting-and-transitions-with-young-children-off-to-school-for-the-first-time-guided-tips-on-how-to-cope-effectively/


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6 Things Parents/Guardians Should Keep In Mind Sending Child To School For The First time

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“It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to … Continue reading

Toddlers and Temper Tantrums Techniques.

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This photo was taken as my toddler was in a middle of a tantrum as we were out in public at a school play. As you see my legs sitting there minding my own buisness, not paying attention to his bad behavior.

Being a parent to a toddler can sometimes be very overwhelming especially during one of their temper tantrums. I have provided several personal approaches to go about dealing with a toddler when they are in the middle of a temper tantrum. Since every child is different, their reaction will be different… Take for instance my toddler, he is currently in the stage where he kicks, screams, tells me no and runs away and even hits himself. My hubby and I were torn on how to go about this situation being that we are new to this (we are first time parents) but what we found that benefits the situation are a couple of techniques listed below. Now keep in mind, these techniques will not all the time work; it all depends on the child which will at times take awhile to get calmed down so be patient. Like I said, every child is different and will act differently during their tantrums. My toddler basically throws his tantrums when he does not get what he wants but again, every child is different. Also keep in mind that if the child is in harm of himself or others during the tantrums do your best to keep the toddler in a safe environment until they are calmed down. If it is to the point where you are concerned about the tantrum and the toddler being in danger, contact your doctor right away. Furthermore, do not feel embarrassed if you are in public, it happens to almost every toddler, I am sure most parents who witness the tantrum has dealt with it sometime too and can relate.

Different Techniques for Toddler Temper Tantrums:

  • Always approach your toddler in a calm manner during a tantrum. Talk to your toddler with a gentle tone. Showing frustration or any other negative approach will most likely worsen the situation.
  • Comfort your toddler. During the tantrum, hug your toddler and tell the toddler you love them and all will be ok.
  • Try to change the mood and situation by distracting your toddler with another topic or play.
  • You can also try and walk away from the toddler to show that you are not giving them attention for their “bad” behavior at that moment. But make sure your child is not in harm and is safe by keeping your eyes on the toddler at all times yet keep yourself busy so they do not think you are giving them any attention to that type of behavior.
  • Try to talk with your toddler about their feelings and emotions. Help them understand how they are feeling at the moment by helping them express how they feeling. For example: I am mad because…, I am upset because…, I am crying because…, I am etc.…  Explain the situation to your toddler the best that you can.
  • Don’t give in to your toddler just because your toddler is throwing the tantrum. Yes, it can become easily frustrating but by you giving in, it’s showing that you are not handling the situation in a proper manner which causes the child to throw the tantrum again because you gave into such negative behavior.
  • You can also try to use the time-out method during the tantrum. I used to use my bottom step as a time-out when my toddler acted up. Since he became so used to it, I had to start doing time-out in his bedroom. I typically explain to him the reason he is in time-out and has to sit in his bed until I say so. I walk out and close the door behind me. This causes him to to calm down more quickly and not wanting to be by himself.
  • If your toddler is trying to get your attention during the tantrum, explain to them that they first need to calm down and you will attend to them when they are not as upset.
  • Another important technique I used that helped out well was breathing exercises. I taught my toddler how to take a deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. I would practice the breathing exercises right along with him. I noticed this worked well with my toddler in his younger toddler years.

After a tantrum, no matter what, always explain to the toddler in a calm, loving voice that the behavior was not necessary and was not good behavior. Reassure your toddler that you still love them and give some loving by hugs and kisses.

Like I stated above, every child is different so not all of these techniques will work. However, you being the parent, you determine what is best for your child in any given situation. These techniques I listed are ones I used on my toddler that worked out through different stages of his toddler tantrum years. Some work at times and other times they do not. Best of luck with parenting during tantrums!

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Photo taken by Dianne Furphy in Port Saint Lucie, FL.

 

~Believe in yourself and you can create what you want.