Give and Take…

“Give and Take…
For to the bee a flower is a fountain of life,
And to the flower a bee is a messenger of love,
And to both, bee and flower, the giving and the receiving is a need and an ecstasy.” -Khalil Gibran


Photography by Dianne Furphy, August 2012, Fort Washington State Park, PA.

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Guided Tips on how to care for a child/toddler who has a fever (this does not apply to infants):

“If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings.” –Brian Tracy

Here are some of my (at-home) Personal Techniques on how to care for a child with a fever from the experience of being a mother:

Fluids. Make sure the child drinks plenty of fluids. Water, juices, freeze pops helps do the job and/or any clear liquids. Soup (chicken noodle or any other soups the child prefers) is also a good intake for the child when they are feeling under the weather. Moreover, if the child is not urinating, it is a sign of dehydration; seek a doctor.

Rest. Make sure the child gets plenty of rest. If the child wants to get up and play, let them do so but don’t let them overdo it. Have them play as calm as possible with little running around and jumping so they do not over exert themselves.

Cold rag. Grab a wash cloth, towel, whatever you have and run it under cold water. You can either pat their forehead, head, neck, or wherever the child feels is burning up. You can also lay the rag on their head/forehead.

Be there for your child. When children are sick and not feeling well, they want love and affection. Stay by their side and comfort them. Let them know everything will be ok. Shower the child with as much love as possible.

Temperatures. It is easy to tell if the child is running a fever. Looking at their face, skin discoloration, even by putting your hand or lips to their forehead, you can tell if they are warmer than usual. Try to take their temperature every-so-often to keep up with their grade of fever. It is known that children can run high temperatures up to 103 F degrees but depending on your child’s behavior: Seek a doctor if your child has symptoms of:

1. Not drinking any fluids.
2. Cannot keep any food down, (although it is typical for children not to have an appetite, as long as they keep fluids flowing, they should be OK).
3. Drastic change in their mood (seems completely out of it).
4. Having difficulty breathing.

Lukewarm Bath. Giving the child a lukewarm bath, using only warm water can help bring the fever down.

Light Clothing.
Dress your child in light clothing and only cover with light sheets. Body heat needs to escape which heavy covering can cause a temperature to rise.

Steam. When my toddler’s nose is congested, I take him in the bathroom, turn on all faucets with hot water, and let my toddler inhale the hot steam. This helps him breathe a lot smoother.

Humidifier. A humidifier is great to have in the child’s room while they sleep or even when they are awake. This helps moistens the air in the room which can help reduce the cough. You can find a humidifier basically anywhere: Check your local stores.

Fruits. My toddler likes to eat watermelon, blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, grapes, and many other fruits when he is not feeling too well. This also helps with dropping his temperature as well.

*I am only speaking with personal experience with my child due to the above recommendations. Every child is different and may need other alternatives. Please feel free to share any other at-at-home-remedies that you have encountered with a child. I’d love to hear from you… Thanks in advace for sharing. :)

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” -Unknown


 

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Techniques for Parents to Cope Effectively with Young Children going to School for the First Time…

“It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.” ~Joyce Maynard

Being a first time parent comes with many surprises. I have been a stay-at-home mother for the past three years. Now that my “baby” is no longer a baby and is going to leave me for the first time to start preschool is a bit overwhelming for me. However, there are many strategies to use to get by the stress that comes along with parenting and the transitions and preparing for what’s best for your child because that is, of course, the main focus. My three-year-youngin’ starts preschool in two days and I know I have to remain strong. I am very proud of my boy and the young little man he is growing into and I also think how proud of myself I am for taking such wonderful care of him. When I look back, we did a lot of playing trains, blocks, story time, flashcards, cars, cranes and trucks, board games such as candy land and scramble, hanging out, took many walks, dancing, and of course the discipline that goes along with young children and so fourth… I taught him a lot and now it is time for him to learn from others. It’s hard and I know I will pull through. There is no parenting book or guide to warn parents that it is a challenge when transitions happen. …And sending my boy to school for the first time sure is a challenge in itself for me. I just wonder how I will be when he has to leave for college or moves out of the house for the first time; well, I will wait (very) patiently and enjoy every second that I do have with him until that day comes. Right now, my focus is preschool. ((Smiles)). As a parent, I believe we have special key roles to play in a child’s life. For one, I know I have taught my son love from day one. Love is very important and to me love is being there, caring, helping in time of need, playing, laughter and having fun together… love to me is also teaching children to have decent morals, values and integrity. It is never too late to teach love, give love and receive love. For my son has taught me the true meaning of love. I am ready to watch my boy grow and develop; to watch him transition into the man he becomes. …And I will walk along side him every step of the way; for I am his mother. But in order to take these steps with him, I have to be fully prepared. So below I have listed some strategies to help parents cope with their children growing, changing, and developing into their own person when knowing that your child will enter the world on his own for the first time.


Techniques on how to help Parents Cope with Transitions with their Young Children:

  •  Always have a positive mind-set. Hence, always know that everything will be alright.
  • If your in need of crying, let it all out. A good cry can be healthy for you. However, try not to cry in front of the child, you do not want to make the child feel bad, you want them to know it is ok for them to leave and do what they have to so they can experience life. 
  • Reach out to other parents who are in the same boat as you such as friends, other parents in your child’s school, online, and so on…
  • Keep yourself busy. Find a favorite hobby such as exercise, volunteer, read, paint, knit, take a walk, meditate, creative projects or do whatever it is that you enjoy doing. Any free time you have, try and make it self-fulfilling, we all deserve it!
  • Be strong! Keep in mind that the more obstacles you overcome and pull through, the stronger of a person you will be!

“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around – and why his parents will always wave back.” ~William D. Tammeus

Furthermore, this link also correlates to my Guided Tips section:

http://createwhatyouwant.org/parenting-and-transitions-with-young-children-off-to-school-for-the-first-time-guided-tips-on-how-to-cope-effectively/


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Parenting and Transitions with Young Children off to School for the First time: Guided Tips on How to Cope Effectively.

“It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.”~Joyce Maynard

Techniques on how to help Parents Cope Effectively with Transitions with their Young Children attending school for the very first time:

  • Always have a positive mind-set. Hence, always know that everything will be alright.
  • If your in need of crying, let it all out. A good cry can be healthy for you. However, try not to cry in front of the child, you do not want to make the child feel bad, you want them to know it is ok for them to leave and do what they have to so they can experience life.
  • Reach out to other parents who are in the same boat as you such as friends, other parents in your child’s school, online, and so on…
  • Keep yourself busy. Find a favorite hobby such as exercise, volunteer, read, paint, knit, take a walk, meditate, creative projects or do whatever it is that you enjoy doing. Any free time you have, try and make it self-fulfilling, we all deserve it!
  • Be strong! Keep in mind that the more obstacles you overcome and pull through, the stronger of a person you will be!
  • Be there and support your child every step of the way.

“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around – and why his parents will always wave back”. ~William D. Tammeus


This link also correlates to my other post: 

http://createwhatyouwant.org/helping-parents-cope-effectively-with-young-children-going-to-school-for-the-first-time/


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Another Day Out with Thomas the Tank Engine Train!

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“A Day Out With Thomas” is a fun-filled family event. Lots of fun activities for all ages of children to do. Two years in a row I attended this event in Strasburg, PA with my toddler and and my partner and … Continue reading

Activities, Games and Events To Do With Young Children.

“Play is an essential part of every child’s life and vital to their development. It is the way children explore the world around them and develop and practice skills. It is essential for physical, emotional and spiritual growth, for intellectual and educational development, and for acquiring social and behavioral skills. Play is a generic term applied to a wide range of activities and behaviors that are satisfying to the child, creative for the child, and freely chosen by the child. Children play on their own and with others. Their play may be boisterous and energetic or quiet and contemplative, light-hearted or very serious.” ~Hampshire Country Council and the Early Years-Development and Childcare Partnership

IMG_2742Being a stay-at-home mother, I learned there are so many activities, games and events you can do with your child. Below are examples of the types of games you can do with your child and certain events you can take you child to. The examples listed below are the things I did/do with my toddler who is about to turn 3 years young. Therefore, I am sure most of these you can still do with a new born and up. [Important Note]: Always keep in mind that repetition is key when learning.

Activities and Games to Play:

  • Flashcards.—I did flashcards with my son ever since he was born and now he is almost three, he knows his colors, numbers, counts up to 30, his alphabet, the sounds the letter makes, etc.… It is never too early to start with flashcards.
  • Read books.—There are so many different types of books out there. Reading books is another activity I have been doing with my toddler ever since he was a new born. Still till this day, he loves to be read to. He even sometimes pulls out a book and acts like he is reading it himself. But there are books to keep your child attentive; for example, there are books that your child can push buttons as you read them the story and so on…
  • Color.—Crayons, washable markers, colored pencils, etc.… Sit down and color with your child. As your child picks a color, name the color and of course, reassure them how much of a great job they are doing.
  • Paint and/or Finger-paint.—My son does not like to finger-paint, although he absolutely loves to paint with a paintbrush. This helps them explore their creativity side.
  • Play-Doh.—Play-doh can be found pretty much anywhere, especially in dollar stores. They also have out little toys to help design and create such structures.
  • Blow bubbles.—Majority of children love to help blow bubbles and/or even chase after them to pop them. Bubbles can be lots of fun!
  • “I’m going to get you.”— I know that my toddler loves to play this. I will say, “I am going to get you” (kind of like tag) and chase after him and eventually get him. Once I do, I either tickle him, non-stop kiss him and/or spin him in circles.
  • Water Time.—Set up an area where you can fill up some pots and pans with water and put out some little cups, dishes, bowls, etc.… and let your child explore with the water. Try and show the child how to pour the water back and forth into different dishes. The child may get wet and make a bit of a mess but that’s ok, it’s only water!
  • Chalking outside.—Chalking can be a lot of fun. Chalk can be found at many stores, especially the dollar store, grab some colored ones and get ready to have fun and chalk with your child.
  • Go for a walk and let the child explore. I typically brought a little bag from the dollar store and let my child collect outside environment pieces such as rocks, leaves, flowers, grass, and/or whatever it was that caught his attention. I would also explain to him what it was that he was interested in and explained what I knew about that certain object that he wanted to put in his bag. I know this was something he really enjoyed doing.
  • Blocks.—When my toddler was in his younger years—one and two years old—he loved building blocks (mega blocks) and then knocking them down. Now as he is older, he still loves building blocks.
  • Board Games & Games.–There are many board games to choose from; esp for learning. Some games I would recommend is Candyland, Hi Ho Cherry-O, Connect Four, Cards, Go Fish, Snakes and Ladders, Scramble, A Day Out With Thomas Boardgame, Toppel and so on…
  • Computer Games.— My toddler loves his little child computer ever since I can remember. It surely helped with his alphabet and numbers. It is also a great way to help them get more acquainted with computers since they are our future.
  • Sing songs and play hand games or even toe games too.—For example: Pat-a-cake. I know my son loved this as an infant and still does as a toddler. Also, “this little piggy went to the market…” and so on.
  • Face expressions.—Make different face expressions and noises and explain what they are and/or have your child guess what type of expression you are doing. Take for example, surprised: open your mouth (as a face expression) and make a surprised sound. This can help your child become more in tuned with their emotions and feelings.
  • Hide-and-seek.—My toddler absolutely loves hiding and me finding him. I am sure this is a game that you cannot go wrong with.
  • Play Ball.—There are so many different things you can do with a ball. Roll the ball back and forth to each other, play catch, bounce it against the wall, soccer, and so on…
  • Foam matt and letters.—My toddler also learned his letters through foam matts that you lay on the ground. We would take the letters out of its spot and mix them up and then he would tell me what the letter was, the sound it made and put the letter back in it’s spot.
  • Build a tent/fort.—Building a tent can be fun for both parent and child. I know I have fun when helping my child build a tent. You can use what you already have at home: blankets, pillows, sheets, etc.….
  • Puzzles.—Children are never too young to learn how to do puzzles. My son was two at the time he did his first puzzle and is still non-stop doing them. As a parent/guardian, all you have to do it sit down with them and teach them that colors go with colors, edges go with edges and so on. Soon enough with practice, I am sure they will get the swing of it and will be doing all by their self.
  • Dance.—Put on some music and dance your tushy-butts off. Dancing is always a fun way to interact with your child.
  • Follow the leader.—You or your child start off by being the leader. You do everything your child does and then take turns and switch it up by having your child follow you and do what you do. For instance, walk around your house, skip, jump, turn in circles, etc.…
  • Stickers.—Go to the store and grab a blank book (Again, I typically go to the dollar store and just get a blank copybook) and we have sticker time. My toddler usually puts all his stickers in his book that he gets from other people and for occasions. This is also a perfect memory book for the both of us.
  • Stamps.—Stamps are always fun too. Again, you can get yourself a blank book and let your child stamp away. Also, the stamps can also be found in many stores too such as the dollar store, A.C. Moore, Michael’s Art Store, and so on…
  • Activity Books.—There are many activity books out there for all ages. This helps children with their writing skills. You can learn how to trace letters, numbers, shapes and so on.
  • Play an instrument.—You can find instruments of all kinds anywhere. Toys-R-Us, Dollar store, etc….
  • Memory Cards.—These cards can be fun and help a child with their memory.
  • “Red means Stop and Green Means Go.”—This is a fun little game you and your child can play to help your child learn about meaning of color. As a parent/guardian, you stand several feet across from your toddler. You tell them green, they start to walk/run then a couple seconds later you call out red which causes them to stop. You can also make up other ways to play this game—be creative!
  • Play School.– Get an easel or chalk board and play school. You can even do the dry erase markers and board and help the child learn how to write, draw and/or scribble. Do letters, numbers, math such as plus, minus, and equals and so on… Also, if you do it everyday, write the child’s name on the board and repeat thier name and spelling of it so they get familarized with thier name.
  • Arts & Crafts.—Trace your child’s hands and/or feet and make flowers out of them. You can also make other cool projects by using their cut-out hands such as ears to their favorite animals or for special occasions. Lots of different things to do with arts and crafts and again, be creative!
  • Whiffle Ball & Bat.—Whiffle ball and bat can always be a fun way to interact with your child.
  • Learn Another Language.—It is never too early to teach your child another language. I have been randomly teaching my child since he was born how to sign (as I am going along, I am also teaching myself). I do some signing every here and there and now that he is a toddler, he understands and does some signing himself at times. There are many books out and you can even find some websites on the Internet.
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This photo was taken by Dianne Furphy on 05/03/2011.

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This photo was taken by Dianne Furphy on 05/03/2011. Chalk artwork done by her son.

“When kids play, they remember.  They may not be aware that they are learning but they sure are aware they are having fun. When you have a good belly laugh with your siblings or parents or friends, that stays with you. And the great thing is that it comes naturally… If we only let it.” ~Rebecca Krook, play facilitator for kids with disabilities

Events & Outings:

Look in your local area for such events:

  • Museums:
  • In my hometown, Philadelphia, The Please Touch Museum is an awesome place to take children to of all ages. However, there are many museums out there for children to attend just look for some in your local area.
  • Aquariums.
  • Playgrounds.
  • Waterparks.
  • Zoo.
  • “Parent/Guardian and Me classes.”—Example: The Little Gym. My toddler loved this class. It also helps children learn how to open up and interact with other children.
  • The Beach.
  • Campground/Camping.
  • Carnivals.
  • Parades.
  • Fairs.
  • Chuck E. Cheese.
  • Bowling.
  • Go to the Library.—I know I already mentioned read books, but find out at your local library about any get-together groups that may be going on. Also, some libraries have computers specifically for young children. I know my toddler absolutely loves playing their computer games.
  • If you have a lake, river or pond around you, take your toddler there to hang out and watch the water. Hopefully there are ducks, geese and birds that are there too so don’t forget to bring crackers or bread to feed them. This is something my toddler also loves to do.
  • Take your child out for some ice cream or water ice.
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This photo was taken by Dianne Furphy on 3/13/2011 @ Linden River in Philadelphia.

“Play builds the kind of free-and-easy, try-it-out, do-it-yourself character that our future needs. We must become more self-conscious and more explicit in our praise and reinforcement as children use unstructured play materials: “That’s good. You use your own ideas….” “That’s good. You did it your way…” “That’s good. You thought it all out yourself.” ~James L. Hymes, Jr., child development specialist, author


~Believe in yourself and you can create what you want. -Dianne Furphy

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Toddlers and Temper Tantrums Techniques.

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This photo was taken as my toddler was in a middle of a tantrum as we were out in public at a school play. As you see my legs sitting there minding my own buisness, not paying attention to his bad behavior.

Being a parent to a toddler can sometimes be very overwhelming especially during one of their temper tantrums. I have provided several personal approaches to go about dealing with a toddler when they are in the middle of a temper tantrum. Since every child is different, their reaction will be different… Take for instance my toddler, he is currently in the stage where he kicks, screams, tells me no and runs away and even hits himself. My hubby and I were torn on how to go about this situation being that we are new to this (we are first time parents) but what we found that benefits the situation are a couple of techniques listed below. Now keep in mind, these techniques will not all the time work; it all depends on the child which will at times take awhile to get calmed down so be patient. Like I said, every child is different and will act differently during their tantrums. My toddler basically throws his tantrums when he does not get what he wants but again, every child is different. Also keep in mind that if the child is in harm of himself or others during the tantrums do your best to keep the toddler in a safe environment until they are calmed down. If it is to the point where you are concerned about the tantrum and the toddler being in danger, contact your doctor right away. Furthermore, do not feel embarrassed if you are in public, it happens to almost every toddler, I am sure most parents who witness the tantrum has dealt with it sometime too and can relate.

Different Techniques for Toddler Temper Tantrums:

  • Always approach your toddler in a calm manner during a tantrum. Talk to your toddler with a gentle tone. Showing frustration or any other negative approach will most likely worsen the situation.
  • Comfort your toddler. During the tantrum, hug your toddler and tell the toddler you love them and all will be ok.
  • Try to change the mood and situation by distracting your toddler with another topic or play.
  • You can also try and walk away from the toddler to show that you are not giving them attention for their “bad” behavior at that moment. But make sure your child is not in harm and is safe by keeping your eyes on the toddler at all times yet keep yourself busy so they do not think you are giving them any attention to that type of behavior.
  • Try to talk with your toddler about their feelings and emotions. Help them understand how they are feeling at the moment by helping them express how they feeling. For example: I am mad because…, I am upset because…, I am crying because…, I am etc.…  Explain the situation to your toddler the best that you can.
  • Don’t give in to your toddler just because your toddler is throwing the tantrum. Yes, it can become easily frustrating but by you giving in, it’s showing that you are not handling the situation in a proper manner which causes the child to throw the tantrum again because you gave into such negative behavior.
  • You can also try to use the time-out method during the tantrum. I used to use my bottom step as a time-out when my toddler acted up. Since he became so used to it, I had to start doing time-out in his bedroom. I typically explain to him the reason he is in time-out and has to sit in his bed until I say so. I walk out and close the door behind me. This causes him to to calm down more quickly and not wanting to be by himself.
  • If your toddler is trying to get your attention during the tantrum, explain to them that they first need to calm down and you will attend to them when they are not as upset.
  • Another important technique I used that helped out well was breathing exercises. I taught my toddler how to take a deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. I would practice the breathing exercises right along with him. I noticed this worked well with my toddler in his younger toddler years.

After a tantrum, no matter what, always explain to the toddler in a calm, loving voice that the behavior was not necessary and was not good behavior. Reassure your toddler that you still love them and give some loving by hugs and kisses.

Like I stated above, every child is different so not all of these techniques will work. However, you being the parent, you determine what is best for your child in any given situation. These techniques I listed are ones I used on my toddler that worked out through different stages of his toddler tantrum years. Some work at times and other times they do not. Best of luck with parenting during tantrums!

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Photo taken by Dianne Furphy in Port Saint Lucie, FL.

 

~Believe in yourself and you can create what you want.

What is up with Northeast Philadelphia’s Playgrounds?

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Northeast Philadelphia Playgrounds Are Just Simply Gross—What’s going on People???…. Where is the RESPECT??? I take my toddler to the playground very often, I’d say during warmer weather 3-5 times a week; cooler weather 1-3 times a week… even if … Continue reading

10 Motivational Tips on How to Cope with Death In A Healthy Manner.

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“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” ~Kenji Miyazawa Talk out your feelings and emotions. Express yourself: I’m mad! I’m angry! I’m hurt! I’m confused, I’m…whatever you may be feeling at the moment. Talk with … Continue reading

Death: In Loving Memory of My Mother, My Angel.

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Have you ever wanted to see someone so badly just so you can get those loving, warming, comforting, and nurturing feelings back that you once felt in your lifetime? Knowing that will be impossible for me since my mother has … Continue reading