Give you more time?!
Maybe it was because you were my first…
My first real boyfriend, my first to make love to, or better yet, my first worst.
My first worst, because my heart has been scattered…
Too many times-
from boyfriend to friend, friend to stranger, stranger to friend, back to not knowing if you are even alive,
By you–my heart is truly battered.
I used to vividly dream about you–about us being forever together,
Dreams of sharing life together, because of you I wanted us to be forever.
I used to gaze at you and get chills…
Them thrills and chills turned to cold, darkened frills that only wants to be killed. No more mountains to climb, no more steep obstacle hills with you…I have to keep in mind ‘the only way out is through.’
He says, “I am sorry, can you give me more time?”
I say, “Can you help me understand your definition of time because yours differs from mine.” Your perspective is something I just do not comprehend. Moreover, you can no longer hurt me as a girlfriend and I am starting to believe you have already served your purpose with me, even as a friend.
What is it that you want from me?
Why is it that you do not just let me be?
You appear, disappear…
No matter how far or near,
You seem to always reappear…
Tell me what it is you want from me so you can stop causing me such strife.
Stay or go. It’s really easy to choose, but I am not going to take you entering and then quickly slipping out of my life.
I am now a wife, to another man, you passed up your opportunity, leave me be… with my new family, who makes me completely, utterly rife.
We tried the whole friendship thing,
Please, tell me, tell me, as a friend…what can you offer and what can you bring?
As a friend, I only want honesty, loyalty, and to be there,
Because with those little in-and-out friend flings, my heart stings while your heart sings.
I’m the one on the other end who always bears to get hurt while your off doing you; leaving me hanging…just isn’t fair.
Do you dare?…
Dare to do me dirty once again, or are you really in this to be my friend?
-Written by Dianne Furphy, 2012
- Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning’s End (behindtheseprettyeyes.wordpress.com)
- One Simply Heart. (jof155.wordpress.com)
- Awakening to Deeper Friendships (awakeningtothedance.com)