Last night marked the end to another closed chapter in my life–today is my new beginning. If you ask how I am feeling… well, I am feeling excited, scared, happy, frightened, anxious, joyful, nervous… I am feeling all sorts of mixed emotions and am on one heck of an emotional roller coaster ride at this time in my life. Not only is a life transformation taking place in my life; it is for my only child too.He started his first full day at kindergarten today. You see, I have been a stay-at-home mother for the past 5 years, that is approximately 1826 days of our lives together. I have been with him day in and day out. He is my side-kick, my wing-man, my little buddy that I do everything with Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday — from the time we wake up to the time we fall asleep.
I am very blessed to have stayed home with him for as long as I have and I am truly and deeply filled with gratitude for the opportunity. I guess without him, I do not know me–I do not know the independence of me, without him by myself. I mean, we have breakfast, lunch and dinner together everyday, ran errands, play, take walks, do arts & crafts, play board games, go out front to play ball, dig in the dirt, catch bugs, make bug homes, have a ‘ball-party” in his room, play trains, build his ball game, paint, practice his letters, flashcards, reading, dance, color, build legos, play on the bed and jump (yes, mommy allows a ‘jumping party’ on mommy and daddy’s bed) …my favorite is the morning time, the mornings where he would come in my room, wake me up by giving me a kiss and have our morning talk while he lays in my arms, goof and play around and the list goes on. We created a special bond him and I — and I know we can still continue our bond — just not as much time as I would like now because he will be in school Monday through Friday from 8am to 3pm and daddy will be home on the weekends so it won’t be the same ‘mommy and Brian’ alone time in the morning, afternoon or evening.
I may be being a “BIG BABY” over this but hey, I am only human–and a mommy made up of feelings and emotions that I am currently releasing and I think I am doing a good job of it too because I am pretty sure I created an ocean for the whole human race to swim in with my tears (Ha-Ha). The best part though, is that I know change happens and I will adjust and everything will be OK. Life goes on. And I know to accept what IS and keep on moving forward while still being in my present, in my now of time and holding within me the deepest love of my heart–all of our precious memories we share together and cherish the time we do have together; I learned this is all I have.
I know my boy will make out just fine. I believe and I am confident I did a job well done on doing my best taking care of him and now it is his time to shine on his own: to learn, grow and to be independent and live his life with his own experiences. I believe in him to make the best choices for himself and his well-being. I am happy for him, to live his life and I pray for him to live a life loving what he does and doing what he loves. I pray for him to be safe, healthy, and to live out a long life filled with lots of laughter, fun, truth, play, and silliness. I know he will do good for himself. He is a bright kid with a lot of liveliness and spunk.
Now it is my turn to make him proud of me–and to lead by example. It is my time to do what I love and love what I do. And what I love is learning, being creative and being the artist that I am. I have always wanted to be a doctor of psychology in a holistic approach and I am almost there while I hold a BA in psychology and a Level II in Reiki (as I did most of this being a stay-at-home mother too)… I may as well continue on exploring and seeing where the road takes me day-to-day. I shall now focus on me and make “ME” goals and accomplishment all my heart truly desires being that I am not figuring out what to play next with my boy or what park I am taking him to each day.
This is my life too and I can create any life I choose just as my boy can. I can be mommy, partner, artist, student, doctor of psychology, a lover, a sister, a motivator, a blogger, a painter, and a friend — I can be whoever it is I feel in each moment because this is me and I choose to continue on living out each of my moments. I will continue on not only making myself proud but I will make my boy proud of his mommy just the way he makes me proud each and every day. We shape one another and I am most grateful to have this life I have. I am successful because I choose to be happy for the little things such as simply being a mother and to be able to experience this ‘role’ and all of the milestones that go along with it–and I know my son will be just as successful too.
“It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.”
Listed below are some techniques for parents/guardians on how to cope with transitions on young children’s first full day of school:
- Positive Mind-Set. Redirect any negative thoughts into a positive and focus on the good (there is positive in everything). I keep telling myself that this is just another new chapter in my life and I know my child will do so well with all he does.
- Feel How You Do. Mixed emotions are typical. When I am in a need of a cry, I let it out and release it being I know it is healthy for me. However, I held my tears back in front of my child because I do not want him to feel bad–I want him to know it is OK to go out and live and experience life.
- Get Involved. See if the school your child is attending allows volunteer help. I volunteered myself to help out with my son’s class for 45 minutes to play board games with the kids. This allows me to really get a feel for the environment my son is in (and to have MORE time spent with him) and on top of that; I am positive I am to have a blast!
- Teacher Talk. Make time to talk with your child’s teacher to find out how things are going with your child.
- Reach Out. Reach out to other parents, friends, relatives, even online chats and blogs who have experienced a similar situation. Talk out your feelings and share stories.
- Be Strong. Keep in mind, the more stepping stones that cross your path make you stronger, not only as a parent but as a person too.